The Game of the Year

The theme for this year was weird games. We saw a game played in the rain, a game with two Infield Fly Rule calls, and no end of other strange moments. We even saw our lowly squad dish out a lopsided ass beating to the Yankees.

As great as all that was, nothing quite compared to the Sunday, August 5 game against the league-leading Texas Rangers. We blew an early lead (thank you, Luke Inning). Normally when we fall significantly behind, the team falls over and plays dead for the rest of the game. But that afternoon we broke with tradition and fought back. Extra innings meant free baseball, and the win off two bizarre throwing errors sealed the deal. Throw in the post-game press conference I mentioned a few days ago, and you’ve got the Game of the Year.

The Guy of the Year

For the first time in quite some time, the Guy of the Year award was actually somewhat close. Several players were good – or at least Royals good – on the field and/or at the plate. And several of them were lovable, semi-lovable or at least a little scruffy. A couple even got national recognition: Alex Gordon won the Gold Glove and Billy Butler edged out the rest of the league’s defensive liabilities and won the Silver Slugger for DH.

But the one guy who really stood out was Alcides Escobar. What a tremendous joy it was to see a ball hit to short and not instantly get the gut-clenching, here-we-go-again feeling. He wasn’t too shabby at the plate, either, especially not for a player hired mostly for his defense. He hit consistently enough to move up from the usual shortstop spot toward the bottom of the order and ended the season consistently in the number two slot. We were also at the ballpark to see him hit all but one or two of the home runs he hit this season. If he’s going to show us that much love, the least we can go is love him back.

Beyond his skill as a player, he also seemed to genuinely give a crap about being there. He hustled consistently even in non-game situations. He went after the umpires on more than one occasion, not in an “I’m in a slump and looking to take it out on someone” way but when they made bad calls and sincerely needed someone to call them on it. And he was a great post-game interview when he got the chance.

Overall he reminded me of the good part of watching Tony Pena Jr. play (the energy) without the bad part (the sucking).

At the start of the season Jeff Francoeur looked like he might have a shot at GotY, but by the time the summer heat set in he got on a cold streak he never quite seemed to get out of. Mike Moustakas also has GotY potential, so we’ll keep an eye on him in 2013.

The season’s best promotion

For the second year in a row, Retro Night is the hands-down winner in the Best Promotion category. May they make 2013 into Retro Season. The Moustakas antlers get honorable mention.

And just so this entry isn’t one sentence long, here are some additional suggestions for next year:

Backwards Day – Folks in the cheap seats get to move down to the Crown Seats and dugout suites. And the rich people get moved to the nosebleeds and have to fetch their own beer and dogs.

“Denkinger 85” T-shirt give-away – For at least one of the Cardinals games. Maybe all three. And speaking of umpires ...

Grecian Formula Presents Tim McClelland Night – Every fan who should have retired from his job years ago gets a free gold (plated) watch.

Sports Authority Night – Everyone’s favorite ticket-hording operation buys every seat in the stadium so nobody gets to watch the game.

No Goddamn Garth Night – This one’s just a regular ballgame except for the middle of the sixth inning.

Hall of Meh Induction – It’s been awhile since we’ve had a player who seemed destined for the Hall of Fame (even our humble, local version). So we need an “honor” more in keeping with current quality standards. The inaugural class will include Chuck Knoblauch, Dean Palmer and Jose Offerman. Plaques will be presented on the field by future honoree Eric Hosmer.

The season’s best bittersweet moment

As I wrote way back in July, the All Star Game was fun. I wouldn’t want to do it every year, but it was fun to do it once before I die.

However, the experience was a bit of a bittersweet moment, because I have to admit that I recognized less than half of the players on the field. For the National Leaguers I had an excuse, as we don’t see them all that often. But even with the American League more often than not I found myself with a profound sense of “yeah, I vaguely remember seeing that guy.”

In comparison, let’s climb into the Way Back Machine and journey to San Diego in 1978. The AL’s All Star team that year included George Brett (who of course was an All Star every year from 76 to 88), Freddie Patek, Darrel Porter, Frank White, even Whitey Herzog as a coach. Reps from other teams included Rod Carew, Carlton Fisk, Jim Rice and many other players I recognize better than the Class of 2012. Jim Palmer was the starting pitcher. Reggie Jackson was elected, but the Magnificence of Him didn’t show up to play. The NL team featured Joe Morgan, Vida Blue, Rollie Fingers and even Bob “The Booner” Boone.

Thus the “mid-summer classic” reminded me of my growing sense that Major League Baseball and I are not as close as we used to be.

The season’s best post-game press conference

I don’t want to make the “best” list all about Yuniesky Betancourt, especially as he was most certainly not the best part of the season. But I was completely blown away by the August 5 post-game press conference in which Ned Yost openly badmouthed him for being a jerk. That’s not the sort of thing you typically hear from a manager – at least in public – and certainly not what you’d expect from someone as naturally laconic as Yost.

That particular post-game also featured a delightfully chipper interview with Alcides Escobar, who played well in yet another crazy game.

The season’s best Royals employee

The seats that will not be sat in by us

Obviously it’s a cheat to make Dal Hindley the Royals Employee of the Year, as the Lancers are long gone (and weren’t technically employees even when they still existed). But that’s exactly why I’m giving him the honor.

The open house on Nov. 3 is pure case in point. For future reference, we showed up at the event, found some seats in the loge that looked good, but were then informed that the seats were only for full-season package purchasers. The decision made not a lick of sense. Here was $3000 walking out the door. If they had a full-season taker for those seats, odds are he or she would already have come forward. Clearly they’re capable of doing a quarter-season deal, because they had other seats in the level available for 21 games.

In the days of the Lancers, we would never have had that problem. If there was a good reason why they had to insist on a full-season deal, at least we would have been given an explanation. If Dal was looking out for us, he would have known that we were interested in a partial season in those seats, and if the franchise didn’t find a full season taker then he would have set us up.

As things stand, however, the team sucks too bad and charges too much to treat its fans this way.
Honorable mention in this category goes to our usher, Johnnie. She isn’t quite like having Estelle back, but at least she’s pleasant to us and mean to the seat hoppers. She should be Royals Employee of the Year solely for being the only person in the whole ballpark (including half the guys on the field) who seems to have any interest in doing her job.

The season’s best schadenfreude

“Hi, I’m Dayton Moore. I’d like to tell you about a great new medicine I’ve discovered: WormzAway.

“Before the season started this year, I re-hired Yuniesky Betancourt. Because we’d gotten rid of him once before, I already knew he was a butt munch and a tank artist. Still, I made sure we’d get stuck with him anyway.

“Then I learned from WormzAway.com that deliberately hiring a butt-munching tank artist could be a sign that I had Brain Worms. So I went to my doctor, and he wrote me a prescription for WormzAway.

“Now my brain is worm-free and my team is Betancourt-free. Thanks, WormzAway!”

The season’s best Yankees moment

As I mentioned when it happened, the sound of an entire stadium loudly booing Robinson Cano was sweet music. We can’t do anything about big money hegemony – either in baseball or anywhere else – even though it spoils everything it touches. But at least for that one brief, shining moment we got to stand on the national stage and say “hey, that abuse of power you feast on every year? We notice it. We don’t like it. You may manage self satisfaction, but not everyone is impressed.”

Only such a unique moment could supplant our May 7 victory as the best Yankees moment of the year. Dishing out an official ass beating to the Evil Empire was pure bliss, especially when we won because we played outstanding baseball and they didn’t.

And my biggest gripe of the season is ...

Once again, the number one biggest problem with the Royals Baseball experience: the worst customer service in Major League Baseball. In truth I haven’t been to every venue in the majors, so I can’t completely confirm that we’re the worst. But in order to be any worse than the Royals, a franchise would have to hire goons with sticks to hit fans as we enter the ballpark.

In partial defense of the organization, it isn’t directly responsible for fan misconduct. In some cases the security folks could be a little more diligent about warnings and ejections, though of course that might cut into beer sales. But for the most part they’re okay on this point. We can’t reasonably expect them to stomp the guts out of everyone who makes that ear-splitting whistle. At least they don’t let people honk air horns or beat on a drum throughout the entire game.

On the other hand, all the rest of the previous seven gripes are things the Royals could quite easily correct. We could also add several more. They never bother to answer email. The parking control is often strange, routing us to different entrances for no apparent reason. And worse, after a long evening at the ballpark – especially after another painful loss – the last thing anyone wants is a cop ordering them to turn right into an extended drive rather than turning left for the direct route. Plus whatever you do, don’t show up early. You’ll end up standing there waiting to be allowed to take your seats (though I do kinda like the chipper little rendition of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” that signals gate opening time).

That last point hits the nail most directly on the head. The franchise blocks seat access on weeknights to save some money on vendor salary. I’d be highly in favor of ripping off a bunch of poor folks working for minimum wage if I thought the savings might go toward better players or even better fan relations people. But what I’m guessing it goes for is gold plating for the guest room hot tubs in a Glass family vacation mansion in St. Kitts. A study released earlier this year estimated that the Royals are the second most profitable franchise in Major League Baseball. That margin doesn’t come from our awesome ticket sales or nationwide merchandise retail. As long as the team just keeps on sucking, the treasure chest of salary overrun penalties from the big market teams stays open. So the best way for our owners to maximize profits is by spending as little as possible.

Well, y’all have heard this rant from me many times already. I’ll let it go so we can move on to the good stuff.

Gripe #2 - The bag touching

Okay, I admit it. I’m neurotic about having my belongings touched by strangers. I’ll put up with it when it’s necessary, but the Royals security bag grope ain’t. Once the top flap is opened, my Jack Bauer Murse of Doom is completely open, no other flaps or hidden compartments. So the contents can be inspected with a minimum of handling.

Even when the grope uncovers something that might be contraband, the groper simply takes my word that it isn’t. If they aren’t going to make any effort to actually tell the difference between binoculars and beer bottles, then why bother with it to begin with?

And just so I don’t come across as completely insane about this, let me point out just how unsanitary the practice is. They don’t wear gloves. I’ve never seen so much as a wet wipe anywhere near any of them.

I’m sure most of the bags they caress are perfectly fine. But you have to know that more than once or twice a game they rub up against a purse that spends a good part of its pursely existence flopped down on the chaw-spat floor of some honky tonk in Raytown.

When they start digging inside, how many surfaces do they touch that previously came into contact with dirty diapers or leaking bottles of Tinkerbell perfume or dead possums? Try getting that picture out of your mind the next time one of our yellow-shirted friends finishes with the person in front of you and reaches for your stuff.

Gripe #3 - The Furbies

We all breathed a deep sigh of relief when the burrito stand moved down the concourse. But as if to restore some kind of crappy karmic balance to the universe, they replaced it with frozen margaritas and Sheridans custard.

One margarita hawker in particular had a squawk that could shatter glass. The only way they could have made the screeching any more eardrum piercing was to bring the Play Ball Kid up and have him or her scream “Feezeemeegeereetees!” for the whole game. Even if it wasn’t shrill, after four or five hundred repetitions, “frozen margaritas!” gets more than a little old. But I understand why they yell it over and over. At $12 a pop, cold, watery booze needs all the help it can get.

Harder to understand is why the custard craphounds have to be as bad as they are. Once the throngs finish swallowing their dollar dogs and go in search of dessert, the lines grow and the teens get busy. But beforehand – especially during the pregame – they apparently have nothing better to do with themselves than mill around right behind our seats making hooting noises and talking in Three Stooges voices. It’s seriously like sitting in front of some kind of demented Furby testing facility.

The worst part is when they do it during the Star Spangled Banner. I’m not trying to go all Lee Greenwood pseudo patriotic, but I honestly think a little respect during the national anthem is part of the game. For all the hand-wringing the franchise does about our troops, you’d think they could spare a moment or two during employee training for Francis Scott Key.

Gripe #4: The "fans"

One of my goals for this blog was to avoid griping about our fellow patrons of the game. For the most part the exercise was highly therapeutic. Knowing that I would be writing about the games themselves helped me ignore all but the most egregious of distractions in the stands.

Still, few horrors equal the cold chills that start crawling the moment someone’s pungent odor assails us before they even take their seats right in front of us. Foul stenches are completely inescapable, damaging the experience right down to ruining the flavor of our food and drinks. Fortunately the only completely overwhelming Stinkos were the odd couple in front of us for the August 1 game (in heat that didn’t exactly help matters). Honorable mention goes to Perfuma Hairybutt on Sept. 14.

Moron-wise, for the most part we lucked out this year. We got the dream seats for one game, which for the most part was wonderful fun. But the folks sitting immediately behind us were a pack of grade A dunderheads. Seriously, folks. Nobody cares about the cruise you went on last spring or what you like to order from IHOP. I could also have done without the Laughing Hyenas on August 28, though their braying wouldn’t have stood out if only they’d found it in their hearts to sit the hell down while the game was in progress. The only genuinely creepy bunch was the strange, extended family on August 5. They spanned several rows and found an amazing array of ways to not watch the game.

Otherwise we lucked out on the bad groups. On Sept. 1 the Twinkies drew The Brute Family, three bored kids intent only on slugging each other. Then three days later we got hit with the inevitable avalanche of dry cleaners. The blessing with both these sets was that neither stayed for more than a couple of innings.

And then there was dollar dog night, which always brings out the fidgety mobs. We also ended up with a bad overall crowd situation during our last game of the year, though I admit work stress might have made that seem worse than it really was.

Recorded in black and white, the crowd problems from this season seem trivial. Knock wood for 2013.

Gripe #5: Our inability to beat the Twins

Since the 1970s we’ve all clearly understood the need to beat the Yankees. Everyone in Major League Baseball who isn’t the Yankees understands this, because at one point or another we’ve all faced the Evil Empire at critical points in the season or post-season. Other “nemesis” teams come and go. The Indians were too dominant back in the 90s. The Red Sox got a little insufferable for awhile (though this season they’re worse than we are).

But the Twins? Why should we have to hate the Twins?

The problem here is the weakness of our division. The number three teams in the East and West would both have finished in first in the Central. So even a weak team can thrive in the “biologically rich” (read: cesspool) environment of the fly-over states. And for some time the Twins did just that, taking the division year after year by virtue of being slightly less mediocre than everyone else. And of course a team that wins consistently – no matter how cheap those wins might be – is going to draw its share of band-wagoning “fans.” Minnesota is close enough to bring more than the usual complement of obnoxious jerks into our house.

But the worm turns. This year Minnesota is the worst team in the American League. This phenomenon should be netting us two benefits. First, we should be hearing less “Here we go Twinkies” and looking at fewer “Circle me Bert” signs. That one we got. Not as much as one might hope, but at least enough to be noticed.

But even a team as bad as the Royals should be able to beat a team as spectacularly terrible as the Twins. And yet we sat through seven games with this team without winning a single one until the last. We even lost both games of a double-header. How the heck don’t we at least split a double-header against the worst team in the league?

If the franchise is going to concentrate on one on-field goal for 2013, beating the Twins more consistently needs to be it.

Gripe #6 - The WiFi situation

When we got internet service in our home, our ISP threw in the wireless router gratis. And if an object is so inexpensive that AT&T is willing to give it away for free, I suspect a multi-million-dollar sports business could afford to spring for a couple for the fans in the stands.

The stadium’s WiFi was never super reliable, but a couple of weeks before the All Star Game it disappeared completely. Or to be more precise, the locked nodes for the press and the luxury boxes were still visible, but the open node for the rest of us had vanished. No big deal, I figured. They need extra bandwidth for the media when the circus comes to town, and things will get back to normal after the break. Sadly, the normal things got back to was the Royals’ normal lack of respect for their fans.

The open WiFi never came back. To be honest, not having it was pretty much the same as having it. The only big inconvenience for me was that now I have to manually enter lineups in iScore rather than downloading them automatically. But I can easily get the lineups from ESPN via my phone and transfer them to the scoring software. In truth, manual copying is probably less trouble than the complicated routine that used to be required to hook up to the WiFi.

So perhaps I should be thanking our cheapskate franchise for making me less dependent on it.

Gripe #7 - The Buck Seat

In late July the franchise gave away funny-looking Buck O’Neil bobbleheads as part of its salute to the Negro Leagues. I thought it would have been much more in keeping with their regard for O’Neil’s spirit if they’d given away a Buck Seat bobblehead. The figurine would have been some random white guy, but if you take it to work with you it organizes your desk accessories into a charity golf tournament.

Perhaps they could even make it a series. Buck Seat bobblehead number two: the founder, president, CEO and CFO of the Hey My Kid Has Cancer Foundation. This one honors grief-stricken parents who create their own micro-charities rather than minimizing overhead by focusing their efforts on fundraising for an established organization. I’m sure some of them are legit or at least well-intentioned. I’m also sure some of them are profit-making vanity projects. Type “start your own charity” into your favorite search engine and see if the results you get give off a strong “scam” vibe.

And of course we can’t go without the Soccer League Coach bobblehead. Though these folks deserve some recognition for their efforts to support youth fitness (especially those who work to promote the glory-free world of girls’ sports), we should also recognize that many of them are gym teachers or other school officials who get paid to do what they do. That cuts substantially into the “goodness of their hearts” element.

I’m not saying they should never put a white person in the seat. Not everybody is a Congressional Medal of Honor winner. I’m sure charity golf tournaments are good things. Cancer sucks, and I feel genuinely sorry for anyone with an ill family member. I’m not against teachers or softball coaches. It’s just that most of the seat’s occupants seem thoroughly unremarkable, notable for doing little more than their jobs. Any day now I expect the stadium announcer to identify the Buck Seat honoree as “Cletus Thudpucker, who has been a sanitation worker in Blue Springs for the last 20 years. And if you don’t think that’s important, think of what Blue Springs would be like if nobody picked up the trash.”

Gripe #8 - Broken promises

The Royals shouldn’t bother making promises to fans, as they seem to be pathologically incapable of keeping them.

The big problem in this department cropped up before the season even began. They’d set a date for the start of All Star Game ticket sales. The date would come and go with no announcement. They’d set another deadline. And again fail to meet it. With the franchise’s staff limitations, I can see how it might take awhile to make sure The Sports Authority has all the seats it wants before opening sales to the rest of us. But why is it so hard to make a realistic estimate of the time required? Even if they’d said nothing at all until they were actually ready to start taking orders, that would still have been better than sending us on daily scrambles to the mailbox waiting for word they knew wasn’t coming.

Another example: as a bonus for season ticket holders, they offered us a free scoreboard greeting. Do I even have to say that the birthday message I turned in for Amy didn’t show up? Again, if they never offered the freebie to begin with, I wouldn’t have expected it. But once a promise is made, it needs to be kept.

Game 41 vs. Detroit

Last game of the season, at least for us. The Royals won’t officially finish up until tomorrow, and the Tigers will go on to the postseason. In the days to come we’ll have plenty of time for the “what a season it was” stuff. For now I’ll just focus on the game.

And what a game it was. If nothing else, how many times do you see the infield fly rule called twice in one game? Apparently I didn’t quite get it (no big shock there). I always thought that the rule gave a free pass for the runners to return to their bases. But no. Runners can advance “at the risk of the ball being caught.” Which is exactly what happened to Prince Fielder in the third. Someone’s head wasn’t exactly in the game.

Nor was he alone. Neither team had much at stake tonight. Detroit clinched the AL Central by beating us yesterday. We were nowhere near taking over second place from the White Sox or being overtaken by Cleveland. So both managers were playing around with their lineups. Jim Leyland pulled Miguel Cabrera in the middle innings, no doubt to help preserve his bid for the triple crown.

Nor would we have done as well against Doug Fister if he hadn’t been treating this as a short, practice game. Billy Butler – subbing for injured Eric Hosmer – managed not one but two amateurish errors. Not that anybody exactly brought his A game.

Anybody besides Alcides Escobar, that is. Batting in his usual number two spot, he started the game by planting one in his favorite homer spot in the left field bullpen. He hit five home runs this year, and we saw four of them. Nor was he slouching in the field. He made a spectacular throw from deep in the pocket to get Avisail “First Name Sounds Like Arthritis Medicine” Garcia in the eighth and made another similarly fantastic play in the ninth. His efforts made a difference in a game as close as this, a welcome treat to close a long season.

The box score:

TIGERS (2) AT ROYALS (4)

TIGERS               AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Quintin Berry         4  1  1  0  Jarrod Dyson          4  1  1  0  
Ramon Santiago        4  0  1  0  Alcides Escobar       4  1  3  2  
Miguel Cabrera        3  0  2  2  Alex Gordon           3  0  1  0  
 Omar Infante         1  0  0  0  Billy Butler          2  0  1  0  
Prince Fielder        2  0  0  0  Salvador Perez        4  0  0  1  
 Avisail Garcia       1  0  0  0  Jeff Francoeur        4  1  2  1  
Delmon Young          4  0  0  0  Brayan Pena           4  0  0  0  
Alex Avila            2  0  0  0  Tony Abreu            2  0  0  0  
 Bryan Holaday        1  0  0  0  Irving Falu           4  1  1  0  
Brennan Boesch        4  0  0  0                                    
Don Kelly             4  0  1  0                                    
Danny Worth           2  1  1  0                                    
TOTALS               32  2  6  2  TOTALS               31  4  9  4

TIGERS                        002 000 000 -- 2  
ROYALS                        100 020 01x -- 4  

LOB--TIGERS 6, ROYALS 8. ERR--Billy Butler. HR--Jeff
Francoeur, Alcides Escobar. HBP--Tony Abreu. SB--Alcides
Escobar.

 TIGERS                          IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
Doug Fister                   4 1-3    7    3    3    2    2    1
Luke Putkonen                 1 2-3    0    0    0    0    0    0
Darin Downs                   1 1-3    2    1    1    2    1    1
Brayan Villarreal             0 2-3    0    0    0    0    0    0
 ROYALS                     
Jeremy Guthrie                    6    5    2    2    3    3    0
Francisley Bueno                  1    1    0    0    0    0    0
Kelvin Herrera                    1    0    0    0    0    2    0
Greg Holland                      1    0    0    0    0    1    0

BALK--Jeremy Guthrie. SO--Ramon Santiago, Delmon Young, Don
Kelly, Alex Avila, Omar Infante, Brennan Boesch, Jeff
Francoeur, Jarrod Dyson (2). BB--Prince Fielder, Alex Avila,
Danny Worth, Billy Butler (2), Alex Gordon, Tony Abreu.

NOTES: Last game of the season

LOCATION: The K

CONDITION: Dry

WEATHER: Cool, Clear, Calm

Buck: W- (“Involved with education”?)
Guard: USAF
Anthem: Okay

Umpires
H - Knight
1 - Winters
2 - Wegner
3 - Holbrook

Time: 7:11
Temp: 74

Game 40 vs. Cleveland

Final Fireworks Friday. Final dollar dog night. The days are growing shorter now, with the sun setting not too long after the game started.

Which was five minutes late thanks to the induction of George Toma into the Royals Hall of Fame. On the plus side, it was nice to see the franchise extending the man a little respect. I was disappointed when we missed the ceremony’s originally-scheduled date a few weeks ago, so I’m glad we were there to see it happen. Several players from back in the day showed up for the pre-game ceremony, so that was fun as well.

On the other hand, the ceremony itself was more than a little half-assed. They spent a chunk of money putting up big wall-sized photos of Toma. But then David Glass forgot part of his speech, leading to one of the most epic embarrassed silences I’ve ever seen. Then Toma himself gave a long, rambling speech. Though I wouldn’t begrudge the man his moment, for my taste he could have spent a great deal less time dwelling on the details of caring for football stadiums.

The game itself was a typical Royals-style victory. We took a small lead early on, which was nice because at least it was a lead. But we never pulled so far ahead that we could sit back in our seats and get comfortable.

At least some of the farmhands played like they wanted to stay in the majors. Irving Falu got a little too aggressive on the basepaths in the second, running into an 8-4-3 run-down (though Brayan Pena scored on the play). Falu had a better time fielding, making several good stops. David Lough also made a great diving catch in left.

We also got to see a fair amount of squirrel ball. Weak popouts seemed to be the order of the day. Both sides also did some batter hitting. It started with a harsh plunk to Alcides Escobar’s forearm. Shin-Soo Choo was the next victim. Both of those were likely to have been accidental. But in the eighth Scott Maine struck Lough squarely and deliberately, drawing a warning from the umpire to both benches. I can’t remember the last time I saw that.

Fortunately it came too late to make any difference in the outcome. Cleveland played like the worst team in the league (an “honor” they’re currently swapping back and forth with Minnesota), and we played like a team marginally better than that.

The box score:

INDIANS (3) AT ROYALS (6)

INDIANS              AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Shin-Soo Choo         4  1  1  0  Jarrod Dyson          3  1  1  0  
Jason Kipnis          5  0  1  0  Alcides Escobar       3  0  1  0  
Asdrubal Cabrera      4  1  2  0  Mike Moustakas        3  1  1  2  
Carlos Santana        3  0  1  2  Billy Butler          3  0  1  0  
Michael Brantley      3  0  1  1  Jeff Francoeur        4  2  1  0  
Travis Hafner         3  0  0  0  Eric Hosmer           3  0  0  1  
 Matt LaPorta         1  0  1  0  Brayan Pena           4  1  2  2  
Casey Kotchman        3  0  2  0  David Lough           3  0  1  0  
 Russ Canzler         1  0  0  0  Irving Falu           4  1  2  1  
Lonnie Chisenhall     4  0  0  0                                    
Ezequiel Carrera      4  1  1  0                                    
TOTALS               35  3 10  3  TOTALS               30  6 10  6

INDIANS                       001 000 200 -- 3  
ROYALS                        021 010 02x -- 6  

LOB--INDIANS 9, ROYALS 6. 2B--Asdrubal Cabrera, Brayan Pena.
HBP--Shin-Soo Choo, Alcides Escobar, David Lough. SACF--Eric
Hosmer, Mike Moustakas. SACB--Asdrubal Cabrera. SB--Alcides
Escobar.

 INDIANS                         IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
Justin Masterson                  6    7    4    4    2    3    0
Joe Smith                         1    0    0    0    0    1    0
Cody Allen                    0 1-3    2    2    2    0    0    0
Scott Maine                   0 2-3    1    0    0    0    0    0
 ROYALS                     
Luis Mendoza                      6    8    2    2    2    3    0
Tim Collins                       1    1    1    1    0    1    0
Francisley Bueno                  1    1    0    0    0    1    0
Greg Holland                      1    0    0    0    0    1    0

WP--Justin Masterson. SO--Asdrubal Cabrera (2), Shin-Soo
Choo, Carlos Santana, Jason Kipnis, Russ Canzler, Billy
Butler (2), Alcides Escobar, Eric Hosmer. BB--Michael
Brantley, Carlos Santana, Billy Butler, Jarrod Dyson.

LOCATION: The K

CONDITION: Dry

WEATHER: Clear, Cool

Buck: W (domestic violence shelter worker)
Guard: USN
Anthem: Meh

Umpires
H: Cederstrom
1: Barksdale
2: Rippinger
3: Johnson

Time: 7:15
Temp: 75

Game 39 vs. Chicago

Here’s today’s great puzzlement: how hard is it to get telephones to work? At one point between innings Robin “Ow! Ow! Ow!” Ventura, home plate umpire Tim Timmons, Ned Yost and one of the cops on the field appeared to be having a great conversation about some serious topic. Fizzy Rocks was in the booth, so the radio was no help on the subject. But in his post-game press conference Yost revealed that the phone between the White Sox dugout and bullpen died.

Really, isn’t the telephone a technology we’ve had for some time now? So typical of the Royals organization that they can’t even make the phones work.

Fortunately the team fared a bit better than the technology. We were up against Chris Sale, the ace of Chicago’s first place staff and a solid contender for the Cy Young. But all the good pitching in the world doesn’t win a game if your team doesn’t score. And the Sox didn’t.

It wasn’t for lack of trying. Chicago stranded eight runners in scoring position, half of them at third base. But it must have been Bruce Chen’s lucky night. As Yost later observed, he kept pitching himself into trouble and then pitching himself back out of it.

We weren’t exactly stellar at the plate. Indeed, Sale struck out the side in the second. But we caught a few breaks here and there. Alcides Escobar pulled off a Baltimore Chop in the third, not something you see everyday. We only scored once in that inning, but we added another two in the seventh thanks in part to Eric Hosmer stretching a single to a double by simply failing to stop running.

It was nice to see us play aggressively against a team that should want victories way worse than we do. Funny how often we seem to slip into the role of September Spoiler for the AL Central.

The box score:

WHITE SOX (0) AT ROYALS (3)

WHITE SOX            AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Alejandro De Aza      5  0  4  0  Jason Bourgeois       4  1  1  0  
Kevin Youkilis        5  0  0  0  Alcides Escobar       3  1  3  0  
Adam Dunn             3  0  0  0  Alex Gordon           3  0  2  2  
Paul Konerko          3  0  1  0  Billy Butler          3  0  0  1  
Alex Rios             4  0  3  0  Salvador Perez        4  0  1  0  
Dayan Viciedo         3  0  0  0  Mike Moustakas        4  0  1  0  
 Dewayne Wise         1  0  1  0  Jeff Francoeur        4  0  0  0  
Alexei Ramirez        4  0  0  0  Eric Hosmer           4  1  1  0  
Tyler Flowers         3  0  0  0  Johnny Giavotella     3  0  0  0  
 Orlando Hudson       1  0  0  0                                    
Gordon Beckham        2  0  0  0                                    
 A.J. Pierzynski      1  0  0  0                                    
TOTALS               35  0  9  0  TOTALS               32  3  9  3

WHITE SOX                     000 000 000 -- 0  
ROYALS                        001 000 20x -- 3  

LOB--WHITE SOX 11, ROYALS 8. ERR--Alexei Ramirez. 2B--Alex
Rios, Paul Konerko, Alejandro De Aza, Alex Gordon, Eric
Hosmer, Mike Moustakas. 3B--Alejandro De Aza. SACF--Billy
Butler. SB--Alcides Escobar.

 WHITE SOX                       IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
Chris Sale                    6 2-3    8    3    3    2    8    0
Nate Jones                    0 1-3    0    0    0    0    0    0
Brian Omogrosso               0 2-3    1    0    0    0    0    0
Donnie Veal                   0 1-3    0    0    0    0    0    0
 ROYALS                     
Bruce Chen                    6 2-3    5    0    0    3    4    0
Kelvin Herrera                1 1-3    3    0    0    0    2    0
Greg Holland                      1    1    0    0    0    1    0

SO--Kevin Youkilis (2), A.J. Pierzynski, Alexei Ramirez,
Tyler Flowers (2), Dayan Viciedo, Jeff Francoeur, Billy
Butler, Alex Gordon, Eric Hosmer, Mike Moustakas (2), Johnny
Giavotella, Salvador Perez. BB--Adam Dunn, Paul Konerko,
Gordon Beckham, Alex Gordon, Alcides Escobar.

LOCATION: The K

CONDITION: Dry

WEATHER: Cool, Dry

Buck: W+ (disaster area pet rescue)
Guard: USN
Anthem: Please wear pants that fit

Umpires:
H: Timmons
1: Foster
2: Cooper
3: Kellogg

Time: 7:10
Temp: 79

Game 38 vs. Los Angeles

This was one of those games that got off to a strange start and then stuck with “weird” as a theme right through to the end.

In the first inning Erick Aybar hit a long fly that looked a great deal like Alex Gordon snagged it with a diving catch just over the foul line. But third base umpire Ted Barrett ruled that it was neither a foul nor a catch, leaving Aybar safe at second. Naturally he later came around to score when a screaming Torii Hunter grounder took an awkward hop off the mound. And in the next inning the Angels added three more with a home run off the unlikely bat of Mark Trumbo.

LA mounted a couple more attempts at offense, but mostly they just struck out a lot. The only other interesting top of an inning came in the fifth. Albert Pujols hit a clean double to center, but when he saw Jason Bourgeois struggling to field the ball he tried stretching it to three. Bad move.

We were no less peculiar. The first couple of innings went fine (we even scored in the second), and it was hard to complain about Tony Abreu’s lead-off homer in the third. Billy Butler led off the fourth with a double but looked like he might end up stranded as the next two batters struck out swinging. Then Jeff Francoeur hit a tough one to short. Aybar threw it well wide of the first base bag, so far off that Butler scored all the way from second.

From there on the Royals had trouble getting anything done. In the late innings Mike Scioscia started playing the stupid lefty-righty match-up thing, all the more aggravating because it worked for him. We got a brief glimmer of hope in the bottom of the ninth when Mike Moustakas singled and gave way to pinch runner Jarrod Dyson. Though the speedy runner had second stolen cleanly on the very next pitch, he overslid the bag. One more pop-out and the game was over.

The weather is turning cool now. Not just a fluke chill providing welcome relief from the summer heat. Autumn may not officially start until next week, but it felt like it was in the ballpark for real this afternoon.

The box score:

ANGELS (4) AT ROYALS (3)

ANGELS               AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Mike Trout            3  0  0  0  Jason Bourgeois       4  0  1  0  
Erick Aybar           4  1  3  0  Alcides Escobar       4  0  0  0  
Albert Pujols         4  0  1  0  Alex Gordon           3  0  0  0  
Torii Hunter          4  0  1  1  Billy Butler          4  1  1  0  
Howard Kendrick       4  0  0  0  Salvador Perez        4  1  1  0  
Vernon Wells          4  1  2  0  Mike Moustakas        4  0  1  0  
Alberto Callaspo      4  1  1  0  Jeff Francoeur        4  0  1  1  
Mark Trumbo           4  1  1  3  Eric Hosmer           3  0  0  0  
Bobby Wilson          3  0  0  0  Tony Abreu            2  1  1  1  
TOTALS               34  4  9  4  TOTALS               32  3  6  2

ANGELS                        130 000 000 -- 4  
ROYALS                        011 100 000 -- 3  

LOB--ANGELS 5, ROYALS 4. ERR--Erick Aybar, Eric Hosmer.
2B--Erick Aybar, Albert Pujols, Billy Butler, Salvador
Perez. HR--Mark Trumbo, Tony Abreu.

 ANGELS                          IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
Dan Haren                     5 2-3    5    3    2    1    5    1
Nick Maronde                  0 1-3    0    0    0    0    0    0
Garrett Richards              1 1-3    0    0    0    1    0    0
Scott Downs                   0 1-3    0    0    0    0    0    0
Jordan Walden                 0 1-3    0    0    0    0    0    0
Kevin Jepsen                      1    1    0    0    0    0    0
 ROYALS                     
Will Smith                        5    7    4    4    2    2    1
Louis Coleman                     1    1    0    0    0    2    0
Aaron Crow                        1    1    0    0    0    1    0
Kelvin Herrera                    1    0    0    0    0    2    0
Greg Holland                      1    0    0    0    0    1    0

WP--Aaron Crow. BALK--Dan Haren. SO--Howard Kendrick (2),
Torii Hunter (2), Mark Trumbo (3), Mike Trout, Alex Gordon,
Tony Abreu, Alcides Escobar, Mike Moustakas, Salvador Perez.
BB--Bobby Wilson, Mike Trout, Alex Gordon, Tony Abreu.

LOCATION: The K

CONDITION: Dry

WEATHER: Cloudy, Cool

Buck: B (high school athlete)
Guard: Job Corps JROTC
Anthem: Feedback City

Umpires
H: Fagan
1: Mr. Pine Tar
2: Reyburn
3: Barrett

Time: 1:12 (listed on the scoreboard as 6:12)
Temp: 70

Game 37 vs. Los Angeles

A night for slugging, though not necessarily from the most obvious spots. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim in Southern California in North America in the Western Hemisphere on the Planet Earth in the Milky Way Galaxy are in distant third place in the AL West, but if they were in the Central they’d have a significant lead over the White Sox.

Still, the vistors’ fan base appeared to be there less for the team and more for a specific player. Though it’s hard to tell the difference between Angels and Cardinals jerseys from the back, the big red 5 was unmistakable. But anyone hoping for a display of awesome hitting prowess from Albert Pujols was in for a disappointment. He went 0 for 3 with three fly-outs, an intentional walk and a hit-by-pitch.

Royals fans fared a little better. For some time now Billy Butler had been sitting on his 99th career home run, but in his first at bat of the game (leading off the second) he elected to sit no longer. The ball cleared the left field wall by a mile, the scoreboard announced the milestone and the crowd went nuts.

Indeed, most everyone seemed to be having a good night at the plate. Or the pitchers were having a bad night on the mound, depending on your perspective. Thus the theme of the game was substitutions. Seven pitchers for the Angels. Six for us. And Mike Sciosca actually managed to play no less than four guys in the number nine spot in the order, even odder considering that Chris Iannetta played the first seven innings and he was the catcher (not a spot where you usually see a lot of swapping going on).

Unfortunately we won the contest to see who could cough it up worst, losing yet another crazy game by a relatively slim margin.

The box score:

ANGELS (9) AT ROYALS (7)

ANGELS               AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Mike Trout            6  1  2  0  Jason Bourgeois       3  1  2  1  
Erick Aybar           5  1  4  1   David Lough          0  0  0  0  
Albert Pujols         3  0  0  0  Alcides Escobar       5  0  1  1  
Torii Hunter          3  1  1  1  Alex Gordon           4  1  0  0  
Howard Kendrick       5  1  1  2  Billy Butler          4  2  1  1  
Vernon Wells          4  2  0  0  Salvador Perez        4  0  0  0  
Mark Trumbo           5  1  1  0  Mike Moustakas        3  1  1  2  
Alberto Callaspo      4  0  1  2  Jeff Francoeur        4  1  2  2  
Chris Iannetta        3  1  1  0  Eric Hosmer           4  0  0  0  
 Kendrys Morales      1  1  1  2  Johnny Giavotella     4  1  1  0  
 Bobby Wilson         0  0  0  0                                    
 Kole Calhoun         1  0  0  1                                    
TOTALS               40  9 12  9  TOTALS               35  7  8  7

ANGELS                        000 400 131 -- 9  
ROYALS                        021 003 100 -- 7  

LOB--ANGELS 10, ROYALS 5. ERR--Jason Bourgeois. 2B--Erick
Aybar, Howard Kendrick, Jeff Francoeur, Johnny Giavotella.
HR--Kendrys Morales, Jeff Francoeur, Billy Butler, Mike
Moustakas. HBP--Vernon Wells, Albert Pujols. SACF--Mike
Moustakas. SB--Alcides Escobar, Jason Bourgeois (2).

 ANGELS                          IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
C.J. Wilson                       5    4    4    4    2    5    2
Garrett Richards              1 1-3    3    3    3    0    0    1
Nick Maronde                  0 1-3    0    0    0    0    0    0
Jordan Walden                 0 1-3    0    0    0    0    0    0
Kevin Jepsen                  0 2-3    1    0    0    0    0    0
Scott Downs                   0 1-3    0    0    0    0    0    0
Ernesto Frieri                    1    0    0    0    1    1    0
 ROYALS                     
Bruce Chen                    6 1-3    7    5    5    1    5    0
Louis Coleman                 0 2-3    1    0    0    1    2    0
Aaron Crow                    0 2-3    1    1    1    0    1    0
Tim Collins                       0    3    2    2    0    0    1
Jeremy Jeffress               0 2-3    0    1    0    2    2    0
Vin Mazzaro                   0 2-3    0    0    0    0    0    0

WP--Ernesto Frieri, Bruce Chen. SO--Howard Kendrick (3),
Torii Hunter, Chris Iannetta, Alberto Callaspo, Mark Trumbo
(2), Mike Trout (2), Billy Butler, Alcides Escobar (2),
Jason Bourgeois, Mike Moustakas, Johnny Giavotella.
BB--Torii Hunter (2), Albert Pujols, Alberto Callaspo, Alex
Gordon, Jason Bourgeois, David Lough.

LOCATION: The K

CONDITION: Dry

WEATHER: Clear, Cool

Buck: W- (KUMC hematologist, good job but I’m guessing it pays pretty well)
Guard: Firemen
Anthem: Doris Stoneburger

Umpires
H: Reyburn
1: Barrett
2: Fagan
3: Mr. Pine Tar

Time: 7:10
Temp: 68 

Game 36 vs. Texas

Not exactly a repeat of yesterday’s pitchers’ duel. Both teams sent a starter and three relievers to the mound, and with all the mid-inning substitutions it seemed like a lot more.

The Rangers scored three in the first off a home run by Adrian Beltre. But after that the Royals dug in and held the visitors scoreless for five. Sadly, we didn’t fare much better. In the first Billy Butler doubled in Alcides Escobar, so at least we got over the “at least it wasn’t a shut-out” fairly early. But we couldn’t do any more damage until a pair of doubles earned us another run in the sixth.

Feeling us at their heels, Texas went back to work. Michael Young led off the seventh with a home run, and they scored two more before the inning ended. At least Alex Gordon made a great catch to turn a sure double into a sac fly.

We didn’t just give up without a fight. The Rangers tried the suddenly-strangely-popular move of walking Jeff Francoeur to pitch to Eric Hosmer, which in this case ended up costing them. Both teams scored again in the eighth, and despite mounting a last-ditch effort in the bottom of the ninth we came up short.

The box score:

RANGERS (7) AT ROYALS (6)

RANGERS              AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Ian Kinsler           4  1  2  1  David Lough           3  0  0  1  
Elvis Andrus          4  0  1  1  Alcides Escobar       5  1  1  1  
Josh Hamilton         3  1  1  0  Alex Gordon           5  0  0  0  
Adrian Beltre         4  2  2  3  Billy Butler          4  2  3  1  
Nelson Cruz           4  0  1  1  Salvador Perez        3  0  1  1  
Michael Young         4  1  1  1  Mike Moustakas        4  0  0  1  
David Murphy          4  0  0  0  Jeff Francoeur        3  1  0  0  
Geovany Soto          2  1  0  0  Eric Hosmer           3  1  2  0  
Mike Olt              2  0  0  0  Johnny Giavotella     4  0  1  0  
 Mitch Moreland       2  1  1  0  *Jarrod Dyson         0  1  0  0  
TOTALS               33  7  9  7  TOTALS               34  6  8  5

RANGERS                       300 000 310 -- 7  
ROYALS                        100 001 211 -- 6  

LOB--RANGERS 3, ROYALS 6. 2B--Ian Kinsler, Mitch Moreland,
Billy Butler (3), Salvador Perez. 3B--Adrian Beltre.
HR--Adrian Beltre, Michael Young. SACF--Ian Kinsler, David
Lough. SB--Eric Hosmer (2).

 RANGERS                         IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
Ryan Dempster                     6    4    2    2    2    8    0
Alexi Ogando                      1    1    2    2    1    0    0
Mike Adams                        1    1    1    1    1    0    0
Joe Nathan                        1    2    1    1    0    0    0
 ROYALS                     
Everett Teaford               4 1-3    3    3    3    2    5    1
Vin Mazzaro                       2    3    3    3    1    0    1
Aaron Crow                    0 2-3    1    0    0    0    0    0
Jeremy Jeffress                   2    2    1    1    0    0    0

WP--Mike Adams, Alexi Ogando. SO--Geovany Soto, Elvis Andrus
(2), Michael Young, Nelson Cruz, Alex Gordon (2), Alcides
Escobar, David Lough, Mike Moustakas, Johnny Giavotella (2),
Salvador Perez. BB--Geovany Soto (2), Josh Hamilton, Jeff
Francoeur, David Lough, Eric Hosmer, Salvador Perez.

LOCATION: The K

CONDITION: Dry

WEATHER: Hot, Clear

Buck: W- (a nurse doing her job)
Guard: Job Corps JROTC
Anthem: Country duet

Umpires
H: Culbreth
1: Johnson
2: Cederstrom
3: Barksdale

Time: 7:10
Temp: 91

Game 35 vs. Texas

And now the days grow short. A couple of games against Texas, a couple with Los Angeles, and a final three with the AL Central.

This one seemed like bad luck at the outset. The Rangers are the best team in the American League, so farmhand Jeremy Guthrie wasn’t likely to pose much of a threat to them. Indeed, the game started predictably enough. Elvis Andrus hit a solo shot in the first, and in the second Geovany Soto drew a two-out walk and came around to score on a double by Mitch Moreland (though Moreland was tagged out trying to stretch it to a triple).

It also looked like one of those nights on offense as well. In the bottom of the second we got two runners in scoring position with just one out before going down on a pair of strikeouts.

But then things took a turn for the better. Lorenzo Cain reached on an error and then came around to score on a double by Alcides Escobar, who in turn got batted over by Alex Gordon and sacrificed in by Billy Butler. Tied with the best team in the league!

The Rangers seemed poised to pay us back in kind, but then Ian Kinsler got tagged out at the plate. And that was pretty much it for Texas.

We added three insurance runs in the fifth and another in the sixth, including home runs by Gordon and Johnny Giavotella. Kelvin Herrera stuttered a bit in the top of the ninth, but Ned Yost wised up faster than he usually does and brought in closer Greg Holland to seal the deal.

The box score:

RANGERS (3) AT ROYALS (6)

RANGERS              AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Ian Kinsler           3  0  1  0  Lorenzo Cain          4  1  1  0  
Elvis Andrus          3  1  1  1  Alcides Escobar       4  2  1  1  
Josh Hamilton         4  1  2  0  Alex Gordon           4  1  2  2  
Adrian Beltre         4  0  1  0  Billy Butler          3  1  1  1  
Nelson Cruz           4  0  0  0  Salvador Perez        4  0  1  1  
Michael Young         3  0  1  1  Jeff Francoeur        4  0  2  0  
David Murphy          4  0  0  0  Mike Moustakas        4  0  1  0  
Geovany Soto          2  1  0  0  Tony Abreu            4  0  1  0  
Mitch Moreland        3  0  1  1  Johnny Giavotella     4  1  1  1  
TOTALS               30  3  7  3  TOTALS               35  6 11  6

RANGERS                       110 000 001 -- 3  
ROYALS                        002 031 00x -- 6  

LOB--RANGERS 4, ROYALS 6. ERR--Ian Kinsler, Billy Butler.
2B--Ian Kinsler, Mitch Moreland, Alcides Escobar, Mike
Moustakas, Salvador Perez. HR--Elvis Andrus, Alex Gordon,
Johnny Giavotella. SACF--Michael Young, Billy Butler.
SACB--Elvis Andrus.

 RANGERS                         IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
Matt Harrison                 4 2-3    8    5    3    0    3    1
Roy Oswalt                    2 1-3    1    1    1    0    4    1
Mark Lowe                         1    2    0    0    0    0    0
 ROYALS                     
Jeremy Guthrie                    7    5    2    2    2    5    1
Kelvin Herrera                    1    2    1    1    0    1    0
Greg Holland                      1    0    0    0    0    1    0

BALK--Mark Lowe. SO--Adrian Beltre, Ian Kinsler, Nelson Cruz
(2), Josh Hamilton (2), Mitch Moreland, Jeff Francoeur, Alex
Gordon, Tony Abreu, Lorenzo Cain (2), Mike Moustakas, Johnny
Giavotella. BB--Geovany Soto, Ian Kinsler.

LOCATION: The K

CONDITION: Dry

WEATHER: Clear, Hot

Buck: W- (missionary)
Guard: JROTC
Anthem: Choir (not bad)

Umpires
H: Barksdale
1: Culbreth
2: Johnson
3: Cederstrom

Time: 7:11
Temp: 92 (felt hotter)

Game 34 vs. Minnesota

At last. At long, painful, gut-wrenching, toe-curling, seat-edge-sitting last. Our final home game against the Twins, and by some miracle straight from a corn field somewhere in Iowa, we managed to pull it off.

The pitching match-up was Luis Mendoza vs. Esmerling Vasquez, so not exactly a battle of aces (not that either staff can really be said to have an ace at this point). Still, we showed early signs of life in the first. Alex Gordon showed some hustle getting a tough one in from left, holding Jamey Carroll to a single. Sure, Carroll came around to score thanks to a double and a grounder, but it’s the thought that counts.

Things looked less hopeful in the top of the second when Chris Parmelee hit a lead-off shot over the left field wall. But Mendoza got the next three Twins in a row, the third a 3-1 ground out that caught Pedro Florimon sliding headlong into first. I remain convinced that particular move angers the Baseball Gods.

And so it must have. The Royals scored three playing small ball in the bottom of the inning. The highlight (other than the scoring, of course) was rookie David Lough just barely stretching a single into a double. Gutsy if it works and stupid if it doesn’t.

With Minnesota apparently desperate for the sweep and the Royals apparently desperate to avoid getting swept, the crazy ball commenced in the middle innings. Before the sixth was half over, both sides had tried and failed to execute a sac bunt with a runner in scoring position.

The Twins scored twice in the sixth (and might have gotten more if their bunt thing hadn’t failed). But then we pulled ahead again in the bottom of the inning and tacked on an insurance run in the eighth. Toward the end Ned Yost was swapping pitchers so fast even Tony LaRussa would have been impressed. But finally Greg Holland was able to start the ninth and seal the deal with three straight swinging strikeouts.

At the end of the season I’ll have more to say about our inability to beat the Twins at home. For now let’s just breathe a sigh of relief.

The box score:

TWINS (4) AT ROYALS (6)

TWINS                AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Ben Revere            5  0  1  0  David Lough           5  1  2  0  
Jamey Carroll         4  1  2  0  Alcides Escobar       5  0  0  0  
Joe Mauer             4  0  3  0  Alex Gordon           3  0  0  0  
Justin Morneau        4  1  1  1  Billy Butler          4  0  1  1  
Ryan Doumit           4  1  0  0  Salvador Perez        3  2  1  0  
Chris Parmelee        4  1  2  1  Mike Moustakas        4  1  2  0  
Matt Carson           3  0  0  0  Lorenzo Cain          3  1  1  1  
Alexi Casilla         4  0  2  2  Eric Hosmer           2  1  1  1  
Pedro Florimon        3  0  0  0  Tony Abreu            4  0  3  3  
 Trevor Plouffe       1  0  0  0                                    
TOTALS               36  4 11  4  TOTALS               33  6 11  6

TWINS                         110 002 000 -- 4  
ROYALS                        030 011 01x -- 6  

LOB--TWINS 6, ROYALS 8. 2B--Joe Mauer, Lorenzo Cain, David
Lough, Eric Hosmer. HR--Chris Parmelee. SACF--Eric Hosmer.
SB--Lorenzo Cain, Mike Moustakas.

 TWINS                           IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
Esmerling Vasquez             5 2-3    7    5    5    3    2    0
Tyler Robertson                   1    1    0    0    0    0    0
Alex Burnett                  0 2-3    3    1    1    1    2    0
Brian Duensing                0 2-3    0    0    0    0    1    0
 ROYALS                     
Luis Mendoza                      5    7    2    2    0    3    1
Tim Collins                       1    3    2    2    1    2    0
Francisley Bueno              1 2-3    1    0    0    0    1    0
Aaron Crow                    0 1-3    0    0    0    0    1    0
Greg Holland                      1    0    0    0    0    3    0

SO--Joe Mauer, Justin Morneau, Alexi Casilla, Ryan Doumit,
Matt Carson, Trevor Plouffe, Pedro Florimon, Ben Revere,
Chris Parmelee (2), Billy Butler (2), Tony Abreu, Alcides
Escobar, Eric Hosmer. BB--Matt Carson, Alex Gordon, Lorenzo
Cain, Eric Hosmer, Salvador Perez.

LOCATION: The K
CONDITION: Dry
WEATHER: Warm, Clear

Buck seat: W Pharmacy prof & meds for the poor
Guard: Job Corps JROTC (sat in front of us for awhile)
Anthem: Vibrato is not a substitute for hitting the notes

Umpires
H: Schreiber
1: Everett
2: Diaz
3: Welke

Time: 1:13
Temp: 86

Game 33 vs. Minnesota

Though I stand by my remarks in the previous post about loving doubleheaders in general, this game severely stretched the limits.

Trouble started before the game did. The crowd started to shuffle in toward the end of the first game, bringing a wave of extra-stupid Twins fans (assuming that what follows the Twins deserves to be called “fans” rather than just Circlemeberts). They were vaguely offset by the arrival of the home town crowd, including one bunch that – doubtless in honor of the antler giveaway – brought a sign with a picture of a moose and a picture of tacos. That would easily win Rebus of the Year Award if such an honor actually existed.

Worse was a bit of franchise-typical disappointment. The Royals were supposed to induct George Toma into the team’s Hall of Fame. Actually, this was supposed to happen yesterday, but the rain started early in the afternoon and drowned the festivities well before they got underway (hence the doubleheader today). As the rain was still coming down fairly hard before the start of game one, I figured they’d occupy the dead space between games by giving Toma his due.

Nope. Nothing. Not even a second anthem or a Buck Seat occupant or anything. They didn’t even make the game two lineups available until the last second, leaving me scrambling to get iScore set up before the game started.

All that would have been okay (except the Toma deal, and I assume they’ll do his ceremony during a later game), but oh Baseball Gods was the game awful. Or to be more precise, our starting pitcher dug us a hole that even a better team would have struggled to get out of.

We’ve all gotten used to The Luke Inning, so when he gave up four runs in the top of the first we were able to console ourselves with his past record of coughing it up for one frame and then settling down to a more professional level for the rest of the game.

The grand slam by Joe Mauer in the top of the second killed that hope in a hurry. Three batters later Hochevar was gone, his pitch count a measly 63.

And here’s the real crying shame of it: we came almost all the way back and nearly won anyway. Everett Teaford threw solid long relief, combining with his teammates in the bullpen to hold the Twins scoreless for the whole rest of the game. On offense we went to work on them. In his MLB debut, David Lough hit a couple of singles and scored a couple of times. Billy Butler went three for four with a walk. Salvador Perez went four for five. And more directly to the point, we managed to score seven runs, one shy of what we needed.

Free baseball is still a pretty good deal, but it would have been nice to at least split the doubleheader.

The box score:

TWINS (8) AT ROYALS (7)

TWINS                AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Ben Revere            4  2  1  0  D Lough               5  2  2  0  
Alexi Casilla         5  1  2  0  Alcides Escobar       5  1  1  0  
Joe Mauer             3  1  1  4  Alex Gordon           5  0  2  1  
Justin Morneau        4  0  1  0  Billy Butler          4  3  3  1  
Josh Willingham       3  1  1  0  Salvador Perez        5  1  4  1  
Chris Parmelee        3  1  1  3  Mike Moustakas        5  0  2  2  
Trevor Plouffe        4  0  0  0  Lorenzo Cain          4  0  0  0  
Drew Butera           3  1  0  0  Eric Hosmer           4  0  1  2  
Pedro Florimon        4  1  2  0  Tony Abreu            4  0  0  0  
TOTALS               33  8  9  7  TOTALS               41  7 15  7

TWINS                         440 000 000 -- 8  
ROYALS                        201 200 200 -- 7  

LOB--TWINS 3, ROYALS 9. 2B--Pedro Florimon, Billy Butler,
Mike Moustakas. HR--Joe Mauer, Chris Parmelee.

 TWINS                           IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
Liam Hendriks                 3 2-3   11    5    5    0    5    0
Anthony Swarzak               2 2-3    1    2    2    1    2    0
Tyler Robertson               0 1-3    0    0    0    0    0    0
Casey Fien                    0 1-3    1    0    0    1    0    0
Kyle Waldrop                      1    1    0    0    0    0    0
Glen Perkins                      1    1    0    0    0    1    0
 ROYALS                     
Luke Hochevar                 1 2-3    6    8    8    4    3    2
Everett Teaford               5 1-3    3    0    0    0    0    0
Kelvin Herrera                    2    0    0    0    1    2    0

WP--Liam Hendriks, Luke Hochevar. SO--Justin Morneau, Alexi
Casilla, Drew Butera, Trevor Plouffe, Pedro Florimon, Alex
Gordon (2), Tony Abreu, Lorenzo Cain (2), Eric Hosmer, Mike
Moustakas (2). BB--Josh Willingham, Joe Mauer, Drew Butera,
Ben Revere, Chris Parmelee, Billy Butler, Lorenzo Cain.

LOCATION: The K
CONDITION: Damp
WEATHER: Cloudy, Cool

No Buck Seat, guard or anthem

Umpires:
H: Welke
1: Schreiber
2: Everett
3: Ripperger

Time: 6:42
Temp: 77

Game 32 vs. Minnesota

I love the ballpark when it rains. I love rain in general, but at the K it’s especially sweet. The rain reduces the crowd and deadens the din from the pregame nonsense. It cools the air. The delays it causes are perfect for reading a book or just staring into space for a little while. And though it may sound like my usual, cynical crap, the Royals are less likely to lose when they aren’t playing.

I also love a doubleheader. It’s twice the baseball for the same price. The crowd never seems to know just how to react, with a lot of people coming in way late in game one or leaving way early in game two. It’s fun to see two games back to back, and if the first one doesn’t go well then there’s always the second.

Sadly, the first one didn’t go well. The Twins scored once in the first and twice in the fifth. They managed at least one base runner in every inning except the last two. That makes it sound somewhat more dismal than it actually was. Will Smith pitched a good game, and Mike Moustakas made a couple of dramatic diving stops. If we’d put any offense together, we might have won this one.

But of course we didn’t. A single here, a single there. Moustakas came around to score on a string of singles in the seventh, but that was it.

At least we got Moostakas antlers out of it. The antlers themselves were kinda cool, not the cheap foam things I’d been expecting.

The box score:

TWINS (3) AT ROYALS (1)

TWINS                AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Darin Mastroianni     4  1  1  0  Lorenzo Cain          4  0  1  0  
Jamey Carroll         4  0  3  0  Alcides Escobar       4  0  0  0  
Josh Willingham       3  1  0  0  Alex Gordon           3  0  1  0  
Justin Morneau        2  0  1  2  Billy Butler          4  0  1  0  
Ryan Doumit           4  0  1  1  Mike Moustakas        4  1  1  0  
Chris Parmelee        4  0  2  0  Brayan Pena           4  0  1  0  
Trevor Plouffe        4  0  1  0  Jeff Francoeur        3  0  0  0  
Matt Carson           4  0  0  0  Eric Hosmer           4  0  1  0  
Pedro Florimon        4  1  1  0  Johnny Giavotella     3  0  1  1  
TOTALS               33  3 10  3  TOTALS               33  1  7  1

TWINS                         100 020 000 -- 3  
ROYALS                        000 000 100 -- 1  

LOB--TWINS 8, ROYALS 7. 2B--Justin Morneau, Chris Parmelee.
HBP--Jeff Francoeur. SACF--Justin Morneau. SACB--Jamey
Carroll. SB--Josh Willingham.

 TWINS                           IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
Cole De Vries                 6 2-3    7    1    1    0    3    0
Alex Burnett                  0 1-3    0    0    0    0    0    0
Jared Burton                      1    0    0    0    1    0    0
Glen Perkins                      1    0    0    0    0    1    0
 ROYALS                     
Will Smith                        6    9    3    3    1    4    0
Vin Mazzaro                       3    1    0    0    2    2    0

SO--Justin Morneau, Ryan Doumit (2), Matt Carson, Chris
Parmelee, Darin Mastroianni, Jeff Francoeur, Alcides
Escobar, Eric Hosmer, Mike Moustakas. BB--Josh Willingham,
Justin Morneau, Darin Mastroianni, Alex Gordon.

LOCATION: The K
CONDITION: Damp
WEATHER: Raining

Buck seat: Nobody
Guard: None
Anthem: Okay

Umpires
H: Diaz
1: Ripperger
2: Schrieber
3: Everitt

Time: 3:31
Temp: 77 

Game 31 vs. Detroit

This was more the game I was expecting two days ago: occasional offensive threats but little scoring.

The Tigers moved Miguel Cabrera as far as third base in the first, but two lead-off strikeouts meant a fielder’s choice by Delmon Young killed the scoring opportunity. Aside from a single here and a walk there, that’s about all either team managed to accomplish for another four innings.

In the bottom of the fifth the Royals finally put some hitting and running together. Mike Moustakas led off with a double, and Jeff Francoeur briefly emerged from an epic hitting slump to advance the runner to third with a single. A wild pitch, a walk, a fielder’s choice, and at least we managed to score one.

In the next inning Alex Gordon led off with a home run to right center (or center right if you prefer). Billy Butler doubled and advanced to third on a single by Salvador Perez. And then things got interesting. Darin Downs, fresh from the Detroit bullpen, sank a wild pitch that went all the way to the backstop. Butler tried steal home and was gunned down at the plate. In his post-game press conference, Ned Yost said the ball made an unusual ricochet off the backstop and that a more typical trajectory would have given Butler plenty of time to score. Personally, I’m more inclined to think that any play dependent on Butler’s speed on the basepaths is more likely to be a case of either gutsy offense or plain stupidity depending on how charitable you’re feeling.

With first base open, the Tigers opted to intentionally walk Francoeur and pitch to Eric Hosmer. Apparently this is a trick more and more teams are trying against us. It’s sad to think that Hosmer is so terrible at the plate that he’s a better risk than Frenchy. But the strategy does appear to be working.

In the eighth three singles brought Prince Fielder across the plate, leaving us all thankful for Gordon’s insurance homer a couple of innings earlier. The Tigers threatened again in the ninth but couldn’t quite pull it off. We swept them, which made me feel a little bad. They’re in a close race with Chicago, and of course we’re in a close race with nobody.

A quick technical note: I left my glasses at home, so I couldn’t see the fine details of the iScore system. For the most part it wasn’t a problem, but somehow I managed to record Tim Collins as our starting pitcher instead of Jeremy Guthrie. That was a real shame, too, because Guthrie threw a great game and deserved proper recognition in the box score.

The box score:

TIGERS (1) AT ROYALS (2)

TIGERS               AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Austin Jackson        5  0  0  0  Lorenzo Cain          3  0  1  0  
Andy Dirks            5  0  2  0  Alcides Escobar       4  0  0  0  
Miguel Cabrera        5  0  2  0  Alex Gordon           4  1  2  1  
Prince Fielder        4  1  3  0  Billy Butler          4  0  2  0  
Delmon Young          4  0  1  0  Salvador Perez        4  0  1  0  
Brennan Boesch        3  0  0  0  Mike Moustakas        4  1  1  0  
 Jeff Baker           1  0  0  0  Jeff Francoeur        2  0  1  0  
Jhonny Peralta        4  0  2  1  Eric Hosmer           2  0  1  0  
Omar Infante          4  0  1  0  Johnny Giavotella     3  0  0  1  
Gerald Laird          3  0  1  0                                    
TOTALS               38  1 12  1  TOTALS               30  2  9  2

TIGERS                        000 000 010 -- 1  
ROYALS                        000 011 00x -- 2  

LOB--TIGERS 11, ROYALS 7. ERR--Salvador Perez. 2B--Prince
Fielder, Billy Butler, Mike Moustakas. HR--Alex Gordon.

 TIGERS                          IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
Rick Porcello                     5    8    2    2    2    4    1
Darin Downs                       1    0    0    0    1    0    0
Brayan Villarreal                 2    1    0    0    0    2    0
 ROYALS                     
iScore error on pitcher records
Aaron Crow                    0 1-3    0    0    0    0    0    0
Kelvin Herrera                    1    1    0    0    1    0    0

WP--Rick Porcello, Darin Downs. SO--Jeff Baker, Austin
Jackson (2), Andy Dirks, Jeff Francoeur, Billy Butler, Alex
Gordon, Lorenzo Cain, Mike Moustakas, Salvador Perez.
BB--Gerald Laird, Jeff Francoeur, Lorenzo Cain, Eric Hosmer.

LOCATION: The K
CONDITION: Dry
WEATHER: Hot, Clear

Buck seat: W- (Charity executive)
Guard: Leavenworth JROTC (mostly girls)
Anthem: Just sing it

Umpires
H: Gonzalez
1: Gibson
2: Cuzzi
3: Barrett

Time: 7:11
Temp: 97

Game 30 vs. Detroit

Predicting the outcomes of games is a good way to hear the Baseball Gods laugh. I remember remarking on the way to the ballpark that with Justin Verlander on the mound, we would most likely lose but at least get to see a well-pitched game. Neither prediction proved true.

The Tigers went right to work on Luis Mendoza in the first, scoring three on a single, a double and a home run. But then miracle of miracles, we got all three runs back in the bottom of the inning. Perhaps Verlander was suffering some temporary thing? Nope. In the bottom of the second we scored another four, playing solid station-to-station offense and batting around the order.

Alas, Detroit cut our lead to one run in the top of the third. After that things calmed down a bit, with both pitchers throwing shut-out ball for a couple of innings.

We widened the lead a smidge in the sixth as Jarrod Dyson drew an unlikely lead-off walk. Alcides Escobar grounded into what looked for all the world like a double play, but the umpire ruled Dyson safe at second. An intentional walk to Billy Butler turned out to be a mistake when Salvador Perez doubled in Dyson. And that was it for Verlander, sad victim of whatever voodoo curse Amy put on him.

The Tigers scored one in the seventh and one in the eighth (the latter a solo shot by Jhonny “Wrong H” Peralta. So the bottom of the eighth found us tied.

Not for long. Billy Butler singled, and no sooner did I mutter “pinch for him” then out came Lorenzo Cain to do just that. Cain stole second and scored on a double by Mike Moustakas.

If a four-run lead isn’t safe at the K, then the one-run lead we took to the top of the ninth was yet another edge-of-our-seats moment. Greg Holland, who now serves as our closer, announced his intention to keep things interesting by walking lead-off batter Austin Jackson. The runner advanced to second on a ground-out by Andy Dirks and then took third on a wild pitch. The Royals opted to intentionally walk Prince Fielder and try their luck with Delmon Young.

And that’s when things got interesting, assuming a bunch of football-ass nonsense can be called “interesting.” Young smacked a long foul to right, and out trotted Jim Leyland to claim it was actually a home run. Now, first base ump Tim Barrett had clearly been looking right at it, and in that location the foul pole helps make it an easy call. But no, we had to do the replay thing.

This points out a significant difference between the replay appeal in the NFL and the way our wonderful sport handles it: in football, there’s a penalty for appealing a call that turns out to have been right to begin with (the appellant loses a time out or some such). But here Leyland has no reason to not disrupt the flow of the game and ice our pitcher with some frivolous nonsense. If he’d been penalized an out for his bogus challenge, odds are he would have stayed in the dugout.

In any event, the outcome was the same. The call was upheld, and Young flew out to left on the next pitch. One more crazy game on the books.

The box score:

TIGERS (8) AT ROYALS (9)

TIGERS               AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Austin Jackson        3  3  3  0  Jarrod Dyson          3  2  1  0  
Andy Dirks            5  1  1  1  Alcides Escobar       5  1  2  1  
Miguel Cabrera        5  1  2  1  Alex Gordon           5  2  2  2  
Prince Fielder        3  1  1  2  Billy Butler          4  1  3  2  
Delmon Young          5  1  1  2  Salvador Perez        5  1  2  1  
Alex Avila            4  0  1  1  Mike Moustakas        5  0  3  3  
Jhonny Peralta        4  1  1  1  Jeff Francoeur        4  0  0  0  
Omar Infante          4  0  0  0  Eric Hosmer           4  0  0  0  
Quintin Berry         4  0  0  0  Johnny Giavotella     4  1  2  0  
                                  *Lorenzo Cain         0  1  0  0  
TOTALS               37  8 10  8  TOTALS               39  9 15  9

TIGERS                        303 000 110 -- 8  
ROYALS                        340 001 01x -- 9  

LOB--TIGERS 6, ROYALS 11. 2B--Prince Fielder, Andy Dirks,
Alex Gordon (2), Mike Moustakas, Salvador Perez (2).
HR--Jhonny Peralta, Delmon Young. SB--Austin Jackson,
Lorenzo Cain.

 TIGERS                          IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
Justin Verlander              5 2-3   12    8    8    3    6    0
Darin Downs                   0 1-3    0    0    0    0    0    0
Brayan Villarreal             1 2-3    2    1    1    1    2    0
Phil Coke                     0 1-3    1    0    0    1    1    0
 ROYALS                     
Luis Mendoza                      5    7    6    6    1    4    1
Kelvin Herrera                1 2-3    2    1    1    0    2    0
Tim Collins                       0    0    0    0    1    0    0
Aaron Crow                    1 1-3    1    1    1    0    3    1
Greg Holland                      1    0    0    0    2    1    0

WP--Brayan Villarreal, Greg Holland, Kelvin Herrera.
SO--Jhonny Peralta, Miguel Cabrera, Delmon Young (2), Alex
Avila (3), Quintin Berry (2), Andy Dirks, Jeff Francoeur
(2), Billy Butler, Alex Gordon (2), Alcides Escobar, Jarrod
Dyson, Eric Hosmer (2). BB--Prince Fielder (2), Austin
Jackson (2), Jeff Francoeur, Billy Butler, Jarrod Dyson (2),
Eric Hosmer.

LOCATION: The K

CONDITION: Dry

WEATHER: Warm, Clear

Buck seat: W (charity eye care)
Guard: Navy
Anthem: Ponderous

Umpires:

H: Cuzzi
1: Barrett
2: Gonzalez
3: Gibson

Time: 7:10
Temp: 94

Game 29 vs. Chicago

Photo from Thursday, but then we didn't win on Thursday

Back in our regular seats tonight, but this was far from a regular game.

Dewayne Wise led off the first with a single. Then he stole third. But just when it started to look like Bruce Chen had adopted the Luke Inning approach to pitching, he managed to squeak out of it

Then we went to work in the bottom half of the inning. Alcides Escobar scored on a double by Alex Gordon. Then White Sox starter Jake Peavy hit Billy Butler with a pitch. Though it wasn’t necessarily deliberate, I thought he got a little close to Brayan Pena after Eric Hosmer homered off him in the sixth.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. Early on the rain started to fall. It was a bit of an oddity, as the weather sites predicted only around a 30% chance. And of course we’d gotten almost no precipitation since June. Yet C.B. Bucknor must come from hearty stock. At no point did he ever seem vaguely inclined to stop the game, though for awhile it appeared to be coming down rather hard. But the grounds crew apparently felt the same. At no point did anyone unroll, unwrap or even go near the tarp.

The Sox went in order in the second, third and fourth. Chen stumbled a bit in the fifth but again got out of it.

For our part, the Royals took advantage of some bad Chicago fielding that may have had something to do with the damp conditions. Lorenzo Cain reached on an error by the catcher (though really Tyler Flowers missed catching the pop-up because Peavy appeared to have it in his sights but then fell on his butt). Sadly, he got picked off on a line drive. But then Gordon doubled again (beating the throw at second mostly because the fielder dropped the ball), coming around to score on a single by Butler. Mike Moustakas singled and moved to third on another error, this time in right field. And after the rain let up, Escobar scored on some station-to-station baseball in the fifth.

In the sixth Paul Konerko broke up Chen’s shut-out with a two-run homer. We answered with Hosmer’s solo shot after the stretch. Still, a three-run lead seemed like a good thing. A one-run lead less so. Adam Dunn hit a two-run blast in the eighth, so once again it was edge-of-our-seats time.

In the bottom of the inning the Sox brought in Brett Myers. Apparently it wasn’t the poor guy’s night. He got a struggling Johnny Giavotella (in for Chris Getz, who’s likely out for the season with a broken thumb). He got Cain. But then Escobar singled, as did Gordon and Butler. Moustakas garnered yet another Player of the Game nod by knocking one over the right field fence.

The extra runs turned out to be enough padding. Chicago went in order in the ninth, and we won yet another crazy game.

The box score

WHITE SOX (4) AT ROYALS (9)

WHITE SOX            AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Dewayne Wise          4  0  1  0  Lorenzo Cain          5  0  1  0  
Kevin Youkilis        4  1  1  0  Alcides Escobar       5  3  4  0  
Adam Dunn             3  2  2  2  Alex Gordon           5  2  3  1  
Paul Konerko          4  1  1  2  Billy Butler          4  2  3  3  
Alex Rios             4  0  0  0  Mike Moustakas        4  1  2  4  
Dayan Viciedo         4  0  1  0  Jeff Francoeur        5  0  0  0  
Alexei Ramirez        4  0  1  0  Eric Hosmer           4  1  1  1  
Tyler Flowers         4  0  1  0  Brayan Pena           4  0  1  0  
Gordon Beckham        3  0  0  0  Johnny Giavotella     4  0  0  0  
TOTALS               34  4  8  4  TOTALS               40  9 15  9

WHITE SOX                     000 002 020 -- 4  
ROYALS                        102 011 04x -- 9  

LOB--WHITE SOX 4, ROYALS 9. ERR--Alex Rios, Kevin Youkilis,
Tyler Flowers. 2B--Adam Dunn, Dewayne Wise, Alex Gordon (2).
HR--Adam Dunn, Paul Konerko, Eric Hosmer, Mike Moustakas.
HBP--Billy Butler. SB--Dewayne Wise, Alcides Escobar.

 WHITE SOX                       IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
Jake Peavy                    5 1-3    9    5    3    1    6    1
Nate Jones                        0    2    0    0    0    0    0
Donnie Veal                   0 1-3    0    0    0    0    1    0
Philip Humber                 1 1-3    0    0    0    0    1    0
Brett Myers                       1    4    4    4    0    0    1
 ROYALS                     
Bruce Chen                        6    5    2    2    1    5    1
Kelvin Herrera                    1    1    0    0    0    0    0
Tim Collins                   0 1-3    2    2    2    0    1    1
Aaron Crow                    0 2-3    0    0    0    0    2    0
Louis Coleman                     1    0    0    0    0    1    0

SO--Alex Rios, Adam Dunn, Kevin Youkilis, Paul Konerko,
Alexei Ramirez, Dewayne Wise, Gordon Beckham, Tyler Flowers,
Dayan Viciedo, Jeff Francoeur, Brayan Pena, Alex Gordon (2),
Eric Hosmer (2), Johnny Giavotella (2). BB--Adam Dunn, Mike
Moustakas.

NOTES: Hosmer bobblehead

LOCATION: The K

CONDITION: Wet

WEATHER: Warm,  cloudy

Buck seat: W- (missionary work in Africa)
Guard: JROTC
Anthem: Trio

Umpires
H: Bucknor
1: Blaser
2: Miller
3: Iassogna

Time: 6:10
Temp: 81

Game 28 vs. Oakland

The highlight of the evening wasn’t on the field, but it was ever so close. We got the Dream Seats. It’s tremendous fun to be that near the game. On the other hand, it’s also somewhat disorienting. The angles are all wrong. Ball trajectories are particularly hard to judge, making outfield plays look weird and some foul balls downright scary.

In short, I love sitting there but wouldn’t want to be there every game.

Speaking of the game, it wasn’t exactly the best. What shut out ever is? On the other hand, we’ve suffered a lot more humiliating defeats than this one. We even managed to put some offense together in the second, loading the bases on a single and a couple of walks. We threatened again in the seventh, once again stranding three runners.

For their part, the A’s didn’t fare dramatically better. Luke Hochevar threw five innings of no-hit ball (or would have been if not for a bunt base hit in the fourth). Even when the runs started happening, it wasn’t The Luke Inning. Coco Crisp homered in the sixth, a hit that was initially called a double but then reversed on video replay. In the next inning Yoenis Cespedes hit a less ambiguous solo shot. And a lead-off walk in the eighth predictably cost us.

So it was a real hard luck loss for Hochevar. Aside from those two home run pitches, he threw a solid game. Even the bullpen did okay. In the ninth, Jeremy Jeffress walked the lead-off batter but then struck out the next three in a row. What a pain to lose yet another one that we should have won.

The box score

ATHLETICS (3) AT ROYALS (0)

ATHLETICS            AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Coco Crisp            4  1  1  1  Jarrod Dyson          4  0  0  0  
Jemile Weeks          3  0  1  1  Alcides Escobar       4  0  1  0  
Josh Reddick          4  0  1  0  Alex Gordon           4  0  0  0  
Yoenis Cespedes       3  1  1  1  Billy Butler          4  0  1  0  
Chris Carter          3  0  0  0  Salvador Perez        4  0  1  0  
Brandon Moss          4  0  1  0  Mike Moustakas        3  0  1  0  
Josh Donaldson        4  0  0  0  Jeff Francoeur        4  0  0  0  
Derek Norris          2  1  0  0  Eric Hosmer           2  0  2  0  
Cliff Pennington      3  0  0  0  Chris Getz            3  0  0  0  
TOTALS               30  3  5  3  TOTALS               32  0  6  0

ATHLETICS                     000 001 110 -- 3  
ROYALS                        000 000 000 -- 0  

LOB--ATHLETICS 4, ROYALS 7. 2B--Brandon Moss, Jemile Weeks.
HR--Coco Crisp, Yoenis Cespedes. SB--Derek Norris, Yoenis
Cespedes.

 ATHLETICS                       IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
Dan Straily                   6 1-3    3    0    0    2    2    0
Sean Doolittle                0 1-3    2    0    0    0    1    0
Jerry Blevins                 0 2-3    0    0    0    0    1    0
Ryan Cook                     0 2-3    1    0    0    0    0    0
Grant Balfour                     1    0    0    0    0    0    0
 ROYALS                     
Luke Hochevar                     7    4    3    3    3    5    2
Tim Collins                       1    1    0    0    0    3    0
Jeremy Jeffress                   1    0    0    0    1    3    0

SO--Brandon Moss, Coco Crisp, Cliff Pennington, Josh Reddick
(2), Chris Carter (2), Josh Donaldson (2), Jemile Weeks (2),
Jeff Francoeur (2), Alex Gordon, Jarrod Dyson. BB--Chris
Carter, Jemile Weeks, Derek Norris, Yoenis Cespedes, Eric
Hosmer, Mike Moustakas.

NOTES: Dream Seats

LOCATION: The K

CONDITION: Dry

WEATHER: Cloudy, cool

Buck seat: W-, Washburn Law professor, wore an O’Neil shirt
Guard: McConnell AFB
Anthem: UMKC Law School “Brief Notes”

Umpires
H: Eddings
1: Burnett
2: Nauer
3: DiMuth

Time: 7:10
Temp: 73

Game 27 vs. Texas

In retroactive honor of Retro Night

Um, wow.

We got off to a heck of a start this afternoon. Luke Hochevar threw ten pitches for three straight outs, and we got to Derek Holland in the bottom of the inning with a double steal and a bases-clearing double.

Then the fourth turned out to be that most dreaded of Royals defensive events: The Luke Inning. A lead-off double. A single and an error by Billy Butler (who for some strange reason was playing first). A hit batter. And so on. The Rangers scored five before the pain finally stopped.

And the very next inning he went right back to work as if he hadn’t just given it up, getting the next six batters in a row.

For our part, usually when The Luke Inning puts us behind by a substantial margin, we just roll over and play dead for the rest of the game. Amazingly, this time we decided to fight. In the bottom of the fourth Jeff Francoeur smacked one over the wall, which caught us all completely by surprise because he’d been struggling at the plate and in the field lately. In the fifth Chris Getz led off with a double and later scored. Then in the sixth DH Brayan Pena (yeah, Ned Yost was feeling a little wacky with the line-up today) hit a two-run blast that put us back on top.

The Rangers scored again in the seventh, but that one was on the bullpen. They might have scored two, but Elvis Andrus tried to score from first on the same double that drove the run in, buying himself an 8-6-2 put-out that wasn’t even close.

Texas seriously threatened in the top of the ninth. Future crossword clue Mike Olt drew a lead-off walk, stole second and reached third on a bad throw by Salvador Perez. Then for some strange reason the call went out for the suicide squeeze. It’s consistent with the principle that you play for the lead on the road, not to mention the sort of thing that makes the manager look like a genius when it works. The down side is that it makes the manager look like an idiot when it doesn’t. And this time it didn’t.

We made it to scoring position but no farther in the bottom half, so off to extras we went. The Rangers loaded them up in the tenth but once again couldn’t cash in, thanks in no small part to an amazing line drive snag by Alcides Escobar.

Billy Butler walked to lead off the bottom half of the inning, and pinch runner Eric Hosmer practically made it to the bag before Butler did. Perez hit into what looked like a certain double play, but substitute shortstop Alberto Gonzalez bobbled the ball and both runners were safe. Up comes Francoeur, who similarly grounded into what would no doubt be an easy twin killing. But Olt flung the throw far wide of the bag at second, allowing Hosmer to score easily. The team and remaining fans went wild.

How many times have I used words such as “strange,” "wacky” and “bizarre” so far in this entry? As insane as the game was, it had nothing on Yost’s post-game press conference. Clearly in a high state of agitation, he announced that Yuniesky Betancourt had been complaining about not getting enough playing time, so the team had designated him for assignment. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a manager so candidly criticize a player, or in this case a former player. So at long last we’re rid of the guy, maybe this time for good.

Even Escobar’s post-game interview was charming.

The box score:

RANGERS (6) AT ROYALS (7)

RANGERS              AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Elvis Andrus          5  0  2  2  Jarrod Dyson          4  1  1  0  
 Alberto Gonzalez     0  0  0  0  Alcides Escobar       3  0  0  0  
Michael Young         5  0  2  1  Lorenzo Cain          3  1  1  0  
Josh Hamilton         5  1  1  0  Billy Butler          4  0  1  1  
Adrian Beltre         4  1  3  1  Salvador Perez        5  0  1  2  
Nelson Cruz           4  1  1  0  Jeff Francoeur        5  2  2  2  
David Murphy          5  1  0  0  Yuniesky Betancourt   4  0  0  0  
Mike Napoli           4  0  0  0  Brayan Pena           3  1  1  2  
Mitch Moreland        4  1  0  0  Chris Getz            4  1  1  0  
Mike Olt              2  1  0  1  *Eric Hosmer          0  1  0  0  
TOTALS               38  6  9  5  TOTALS               35  7  8  7

RANGERS                       000 500 100 0 -- 6  
ROYALS                        200 112 000 1 -- 7  

LOB--RANGERS 9, ROYALS 8. ERR--Alberto Gonzalez, Mike Olt,
Billy Butler, Alcides Escobar, Salvador Perez. 2B--Adrian
Beltre, Michael Young, Josh Hamilton, Chris Getz, Salvador
Perez. 3B--Elvis Andrus. HR--Jeff Francoeur, Brayan Pena.
HBP--Nelson Cruz. SACF--Mike Olt. SACB--Alcides Escobar,
Jarrod Dyson. SB--Mike Olt, Lorenzo Cain, Jarrod Dyson.

 RANGERS                         IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
Derek Holland                     6    8    6    6    2    7    2
Roy Oswalt                        2    0    0    0    0    4    0
Robbie Ross                       1    0    0    0    2    1    0
Michael Kirkman                   0    0    1    1    1    0    0
 ROYALS                     
Luke Hochevar                     6    4    5    5    1    4    0
Aaron Crow                    0 1-3    2    1    1    1    0    0
Tim Collins                   1 2-3    0    0    0    1    1    0
Greg Holland                      2    3    0    0    2    2    0

WP--Luke Hochevar. SO--Mike Napoli (3), Michael Young, Josh
Hamilton (2), Mike Olt, Jeff Francoeur, Yuniesky Betancourt,
Billy Butler, Chris Getz (2), Brayan Pena, Alcides Escobar
(2), Jarrod Dyson (2), Salvador Perez (2). BB--Mike Napoli,
Adrian Beltre, Mitch Moreland, Mike Olt (2), Billy Butler,
Brayan Pena, Alcides Escobar, Lorenzo Cain (2).

LOCATION: The K

CONDITION: Dry

WEATHER: Warm, Clear

Buck Seat: W- (another volleyball coach)
Guard: USN
Anthem: Off key

Umpires:
H - Barrett, Ted
1 - Hudson
2 - Baker
3 - Mr. Pine Tar

Time: 1:10
Temp: Very nice, somewhere in the 80s

Game 26 vs. Texas

I think Mom hit it right on the head: the odd games are a lot more fun when we win them. That actually caught me by surprise, because I assumed after all these years of watching the Royals that I’d lost most of my concern for whether the team wins or loses. But no, she’s right. When both teams play badly – or at least strangely – it’s much better to come out on top.

Both starters seemed to be struggling throughout the game. Jeremy Guthrie threw a little better than he did in his first outing for us. He was responsible for only three of the Rangers’ five runs. He threw three shutout innings. But he’s still struggling a lot with control. He walked two in the first on the heels of a lead-off single, so we were lucky to limit the damage that inning to one run.

In the bottom of the second we managed to do something similar against Rangers starter Matt Harrison. He also seemed to be fighting his control, though all the pitchers may have been up against a tight strike zone from rookie umpire Jordan Baker. In all we saw 308 pitches, including eight walks and ten full counts.

Nor was the strike zone the end of it. In the bottom of the third, Alcides Escobar fouled a ball off his foot. But for some bizarre reason the ball was ruled in play, and he was thrown out while still standing in the batter’s box. Now, the simple physics of the ball’s trajectory strongly suggested that it had hit some part of the batter’s body in foul territory. But in Baker’s defense, the plate umpire isn’t in the best position to make a call like that. Either the first or third base umpire should have been on it.

In this particular case, that meant crew chief Tim “Grecian Formula” McClelland at first. But then why should he start watching ballgames now? Seriously, this guy could devote himself to becoming the best umpire in the history of the game, second in reputation for excellence only to the great Steve Palermo himself, and history will still remember him solely for making The Call in the Pine Tar Game.

Maybe he should consider retiring from umpiring and go in search of endorsement deals. I’ll bet Depends would be happy to have him. “When I saw George Brett come charging out of that dugout, I wished like hell I’d had Depends on. Depends, because you never know when you’ll need to go.”

On the other hand, a call in the sixth dropped more directly at Baker’s doorstep. Adrian Beltre swung away at what should have been strike three, but the umpire called it a foul. Bizarre.

On the plus side, we kept it close for most of the game. We were trailing by only one when Ned Yost went to the bullpen. In came Jose Mijares to get one out, walk a batter and then cough up a home run ball to Mitch Moreland.

That proved to be the real back-breaker. We got one run and stranded two runners in scoring position in both the seventh and the eighth inning. I promised Amy that I wouldn’t point out that it’s hard to strand nine runners in a game and still come out on top. So pretend you didn’t just read that.

Despite further wronging by the umpires, Escobar was the Player of the Game. He made a !-worthy play in the third, and in the seventh he stayed in the game despite injuring himself with a mis-planted foot that prevented him from making another outstanding throw to first.

Of course win or lose, it’s hard to beat Retro Night. The free lunch boxes were actually kinda cool. No cheerleaders. No exhortations to clap our hands. Minimal Sluggerrr. And best of all, no reminder about where Garth Brooks’s friends can be found.

The box score:
 

RANGERS (5) AT ROYALS (3)

RANGERS              AB  R  H BI  ROYALS               AB  R  H BI
Ian Kinsler           3  1  1  0  Alex Gordon           5  0  1  0  
Elvis Andrus          3  0  1  0  Alcides Escobar       5  0  1  1  
Josh Hamilton         4  0  1  0  Lorenzo Cain          4  0  1  0  
Adrian Beltre         3  1  1  0  Billy Butler          3  0  1  0  
Nelson Cruz           3  0  0  1  Salvador Perez        4  1  3  0  
Michael Young         4  1  1  0  Jeff Francoeur        3  1  0  0  
David Murphy          4  0  1  1  Eric Hosmer           3  0  1  0  
Geovany Soto          3  1  0  0  Yuniesky Betancourt   4  0  1  1  
Mitch Moreland        3  1  1  3  Chris Getz            4  1  1  0  
TOTALS               30  5  7  5  TOTALS               35  3 10  2

RANGERS                       100 100 300 -- 5  
ROYALS                        010 000 110 -- 3  

LOB--RANGERS 3, ROYALS 9. 2B--Yuniesky Betancourt. HR--Mitch
Moreland. SACF--Nelson Cruz. SB--Jeff Francoeur.

 RANGERS                         IP    H    R   ER   BB   SO   HR
Matt Harrison                 6 2-3    8    2    2    3    3    0
Tanner Scheppers              0 1-3    0    0    0    0    0    0
Mike Adams                        1    2    1    1    1    0    0
Alexi Ogando                      1    0    0    0    0    2    0
 ROYALS                     
Jeremy Guthrie                    6    6    3    3    2    4    0
Jose Mijares                  0 1-3    1    2    2    1    0    1
Louis Coleman                 1 2-3    0    0    0    1    1    0
Jeremy Jeffress                   1    0    0    0    0    0    0

WP--Tanner Scheppers, Jeremy Guthrie. SO--Geovany Soto,
Michael Young, Josh Hamilton (2), Mitch Moreland, Alex
Gordon, Alcides Escobar, Lorenzo Cain, Eric Hosmer (2).
BB--Geovany Soto, Adrian Beltre, Elvis Andrus, Ian Kinsler,
Jeff Francoeur, Billy Butler, Lorenzo Cain, Eric Hosmer.

NOTES: Retro Night

LOCATION: The K

CONDITION: Dry

WEATHER: Hot, Clear

Buck seat: W-
Guard: KUAFROTC
Anthem: Actually not too bad

Umpires:
H - Baker
1 - Mr. Pine Tar
2 - Barrett
3 - Hudson

Time: 7:10
Temp: 93