And my biggest gripe of the season is ...

Once again, the number one biggest problem with the Royals Baseball experience: the worst customer service in Major League Baseball. In truth I haven’t been to every venue in the majors, so I can’t completely confirm that we’re the worst. But in order to be any worse than the Royals, a franchise would have to hire goons with sticks to hit fans as we enter the ballpark.

In partial defense of the organization, it isn’t directly responsible for fan misconduct. In some cases the security folks could be a little more diligent about warnings and ejections, though of course that might cut into beer sales. But for the most part they’re okay on this point. We can’t reasonably expect them to stomp the guts out of everyone who makes that ear-splitting whistle. At least they don’t let people honk air horns or beat on a drum throughout the entire game.

On the other hand, all the rest of the previous seven gripes are things the Royals could quite easily correct. We could also add several more. They never bother to answer email. The parking control is often strange, routing us to different entrances for no apparent reason. And worse, after a long evening at the ballpark – especially after another painful loss – the last thing anyone wants is a cop ordering them to turn right into an extended drive rather than turning left for the direct route. Plus whatever you do, don’t show up early. You’ll end up standing there waiting to be allowed to take your seats (though I do kinda like the chipper little rendition of “Take Me Out to the Ball Game” that signals gate opening time).

That last point hits the nail most directly on the head. The franchise blocks seat access on weeknights to save some money on vendor salary. I’d be highly in favor of ripping off a bunch of poor folks working for minimum wage if I thought the savings might go toward better players or even better fan relations people. But what I’m guessing it goes for is gold plating for the guest room hot tubs in a Glass family vacation mansion in St. Kitts. A study released earlier this year estimated that the Royals are the second most profitable franchise in Major League Baseball. That margin doesn’t come from our awesome ticket sales or nationwide merchandise retail. As long as the team just keeps on sucking, the treasure chest of salary overrun penalties from the big market teams stays open. So the best way for our owners to maximize profits is by spending as little as possible.

Well, y’all have heard this rant from me many times already. I’ll let it go so we can move on to the good stuff.